About Me

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London, London, United Kingdom
Hello! I'm gonna remain anonymous for now since I don't wanna reveal who I am. All I'm gonna say is I am Chinese I'm gonna say this Blog is my place for when I feel in the mood to share what I'm going through and what's going on- but not the big details. My diary that I'll keep on filling (hopefully). Because I'm not best with diaries, I just incomplete them. I'm just an ordinary girl living a generation full of technology, judgement and racism. There's so many ideas I wanna share that'll explode like a coke bottle (metaphor from Girl Online-Zoe Sugg) Photography is the thang! Also nature! Hope you'll enjoy this. See you around

Sunday, 27 March 2016

Noughts & Crosses Series | Books

Malorie Blackman 
Now I've never heard much about her when one day my Brother brought home one of her books and that was one of the Noughts and Crosses Series and that will be the first book. At that time I hated reading, but once I took a good look at the blurb and that made me realise that "Huh this is interesting, maybe I should read it."Took me a good old couple of pages for me to love Malorie. This was like in Year 8 or 7 I don't remember. Then later on in Yea 9 my old form tutor got me invested into more of her books such as 'Pig Heart Boy', 'Hacker' and 'Boys Don't cry' which I don't think I have finished.
She is a British Author who wrote about segregation when Blacks over-rule the Whites (aka the Crosses over-ruling the Noughts) and goes deep into politics of the ruling government Liberation Militia. If you love books that are on political views, segregation, difficulties in life, then I strongly suggest you invest in one of her books.

Noughts and Crosses Series
Callum is a nought-a second-class citizen in a world run by the ruling crosses...
Sephy is a Cross, daughter of one of the most powerful men in the country...
In their world, noughts and Crosses simply don't match. And as hostility turns to violence, can Callum and Sephy possible find a way to be together?
They are determined to try.
And then the bomb explodes...

Let me say I consumed a lot of sadness from it and it made me realise one thing in life and that is to never trust anybody. If you are someone that hates reading because you can't be bothered to open a page and read words off a page, then just give it a try. Read one page and see how it goes.
A devastatingly moving story that will blow your mind away and hit you in the feels. However it is recommended for older teenagers as it has sexual and violence in it.
And if you're not interested in any of that then try all her other books. They are amazing!

She focuses on the political views of race and that really interests me because I am the one who is concerned the amount of racism we still have worldwide and it is dis-heartening just to see one been brought down by another and the same pattern goes on and on.

With-held within a Prison Cell | Poem

I was alone in a very dark sole
With nothing to do and supervised
I walk around contemplating and contemplating again
When thoughts go through my mind, but nothing comes out
Because...

Screams, shouts, conflict, contradictions. All lies
It's like my mind is ready to die
I have no mobility
When I just sit there and have no accessibility
When my mind is a scribble, but my words are like a blank page

But why do I feel so lonely?
It's because I'm locked down like a prisoner in a prison cell
Like writing my own book whilst spending years and years there
But what can I do?
A image flew
I can get out of this mess
You can do this, you can do this
A voice which appeared in my head
I had to get out, I can't take it
My brain is screaming for air, it's screaming for fear
My body wanted to move, but it couldn't
The cell closed in on me
And once it got to the end I couldn't breath any longer
I shut my eyes slowly

When I woke up, I was in my own home...



Monday, 4 January 2016

Rundown of 2015 | Diary

2015
So this year has been a few ups and downs for me during 2015. There have been really difficult times and then there was times when I was reassured and glad that everything was okay in the end .

I'm going to tell you my rundown of events that happened over the past year, there will be great events and there will be a bad and sad events.

Friendship Disaster 
Now friendship problems are a common thing that happen throughout the teenage life and it happens sometimes out of the blue and then you can also expect it.

So, back at the end of 2014 I left my usual friendship group because of someone and what they did in the past. And then I told a bunch of lies when I had to talk to them online and clear things up. When I do however have a problem of explaining something to someone I get that jittery feeling and start to panic, this happens when there is text and it's something negative or could possibly be about me. Then end up telling lies and not be honest because I would want to keep my friendship and it will end up horribly. It has always been my mistake and I can never fix it. So then I have minus a friend who may think I am a terrible person. Do not panic, and if you do take a moment to breath and then start typing your explanation and thoughts and everything will fly out like a butterfly.But hopefully someday it will be resolved and I have been contemplating about it throughout this year, even though it's something about the year before, it still has been a struggle to find my way to apologising.

Moving Out
One of my siblings have moved out back in July and it was a tough choice for my parent because she didn't want to waste money where you can just live at the family house. Since then my Mum has been rambling on and on about how my sister was indecisive about the moving out case. Yes it is tough to move away from parents because they would always think of you as their little baby and always stick by them, but then you have to let them be free and do their own thing because they are older and they need to take responsibility for themselves. So it was an absolute nightmare hearing my Mum ramble on 24/7 and there is going to be a continuation in 2016 probably. Awesome!; Not.

Discovering YouTubers
Back then I wasn't a fan of YouTubers and I never really watched and any YouTube at all. But in April I discovered Zoella. I knew a teeny tiny amount about her from magazines, but that was all. I started watching her and then overtime  I discovered more YouTubers and now there is a list of a lot of YouTubers in my Subscriptions. My brother makes fun of me because of it. This could sound cheesy, but without all these YouTubers I'm watching now, I would be in a total mess. I have learnt a lot about them. It's not all about Gaming, Beauty or challenges. You can learn something from them and an example is a tweet "Do more of what makes you happy" by PointlessBlog. Thanks I need that to motivate me everyday.

Overall 2015 was a bumpy year and that is going to happen in life and I have to get over it.
New Year's Resolution: Be more happy and develop confidence.

Sayonara
HazzaMazza~